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The Family Proclamation and gender roles

The Proclamation on the Family did not change the long-standing Church policy on gender roles. On the contrary, the Church has maintained a consistent position on this question for many years both prior to and subsequent to the 1995 Proclamation.

LDS gender role teachings between 1969 and 1995

In 1969, Spencer W. Kimball said, "Mothers have left their homes to work in such numbers that Church authorities are much concerned, and make a call to mothers: 'Come back home, Mothers, come back home.' " (The Miracle of Forgiveness, p. 254.)

In various forms, and over and over, I have heard this plea repeated by Presidents of the Church throughout my married life. Many pre-1995 examples could be cited, all of them speaking in unison. The following examples are representative of them all.

President Ezra Taft Benson (to mothers)—1987

In an address given at a Church-wide fireside for parents on February 22, 1987, President Ezra Taft Benson said:

The Lord clearly defined the roles of mothers and fathers in providing for and rearing a righteous posterity. In the beginning, Adam—not Eve—was instructed to earn the bread by the sweat of his brow. Contrary to conventional wisdom, a mother's calling is in the home, not in the marketplace.

Again, in the Doctrine and Covenants, we read: "Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until their husbands are taken." (D&C 83:2.)

This is the divine right of a wife and mother. She cares for and nourishes her children at home. Her husband earns the living for the family, which makes this nourishing possible. With that claim on their husbands for their financial support, the counsel of the Church has always been for mothers to spend their full time in the home in rearing and caring for their children.

We realize also that some of our choice sisters are widowed and divorced and that others find themselves in unusual circumstances where, out of necessity, they are required to work for a period of time. But these instances are the exception, not the rule.

In a home where there is an able-bodied husband, he is expected to be the breadwinner. Sometimes we hear of husbands who, because of economic conditions, have lost their jobs and expect their wives to go out of the home and work even though the husband is still capable of providing for his family. In these cases, we urge the husband to do all in his power to allow his wife to remain in the home caring for the children while he continues to provide for his family the best he can, even though the job he is able to secure may not be ideal and family budgeting will have to be tighter.

Our beloved prophet Spencer W. Kimball had much to say about the role of mothers in the home and their callings and responsibilities. I am impressed tonight to share with you some of his inspired pronouncements. I fear that much of his counsel has gone unheeded, and families have suffered because of it. But I stand this evening as a second witness to the truthfulness of what President Spencer W. Kimball said. He spoke as a true prophet of God.

President Kimball declared: "Women are to take care of the family—the Lord has so stated—to be an assistant to the husband, to work with him, but not to earn the living, except in unusual circumstances. Men ought to be men indeed and earn the living under normal circumstances." (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982], 318.)

President Kimball continues: "Too many mothers work away from home to furnish sweaters and music lessons and trips and fun for their children. Too many women spend their time in socializing, in politicking, in public services when they should be home to teach and train and receive and love their children into security." (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 319.)

Remember the counsel of President Kimball to John and Mary: "Mary, you are to become a career woman in the greatest career on earth—that of homemaker, wife, and mother. It was never intended by the Lord that married women should compete with men in employment. They have a far greater and more important service to render." (Faith Precedes the Miracle [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Company, 1972], 128.)

Again President Kimball speaks: "The husband is expected to support his family and only in an emergency should a wife secure outside employment. Her place is in the home, to build the home into a heaven of delight.

"Numerous divorces can be traced directly to the day when the wife left the home and went out into the world into employment. Two incomes raise the standard of living beyond its norm. Two spouses working prevent the complete and proper home life, break into the family prayers, create an independence which is not cooperative, causes distortion, limits the family, and frustrates the children already born." (Fireside address, San Antonio, Texas, 3 Dec. 1977.)

Finally, President Kimball counsels: "I beg of you, you who could and should be bearing and rearing a family: wives, come home from the typewriter, the laundry, the nursing, come home from the factory, the cafe. No career approaches in importance that of wife, homemaker, mother—cooking meals, washing dishes, making beds for one's precious husband and children. Come home, wives, to your husbands. Make home a heaven for them. Come home, wives, to your children, born and unborn. Wrap the motherly cloak about you and, unembarrassed, help in a major role to create the bodies for the immortal souls who anxiously await.

"When you have fully complemented your husband in home life and borne the children, growing up full of faith, integrity, responsibility, and goodness, then you have achieved your accomplishment supreme, without peer, and you will be the envy [of all] through time and eternity." (Fireside address, San Antonio, Texas.)

President Kimball spoke the truth. His words are prophetic. (Come, Listen to a Prophet's Voice, pp. 29-32.)

President Ezra Taft Benson (to fathers)—1987

In an address given at the priesthood session of general conference on October 3, 1987, President Ezra Taft Benson said:

You have a sacred responsibility to provide for the material needs of your family.

The Lord clearly defined the roles of providing for and rearing a righteous posterity. In the beginning, Adam, not Eve, was instructed to earn the bread by the sweat of his brow.

The Apostle Paul counsels husbands and fathers, "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." (1 Tim. 5:8.)

Early in the history of the restored Church, the Lord specifically charged men with the obligation to provide for their wives and family. In January of 1832 He said, "Verily I say unto you, that every man who is obliged to provide for his own family, let him provide, and he shall in nowise lose his crown." (D&C 75:28.) Three months later the Lord said again, "Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until their husbands are taken." (D&C 83:2.) This is the divine right of a wife and mother. While she cares for and nourishes her children at home, her husband earns the living for the family, which makes this nourishing possible.

In a home where there is an able-bodied husband, he is expected to be the breadwinner. Sometimes we hear of husbands who, because of economic conditions, have lost their jobs and expect the wives to go out of the home and work, even though the husband is still capable of providing for his family. In these cases, we urge the husband to do all in his power to allow his wife to remain in the home caring for the children while he continues to provide for his family the best he can, even though the job he is able to secure may not be ideal and family budgeting may have to be tighter.

Also, the need for education or material things does not justify the postponing of children in order to keep the wife working as the breadwinner of the family.

I remember the counsel of our beloved prophet Spencer W. Kimball to married students. He said: "I have told tens of thousands of young folks that when they marry they should not wait for children until they have finished their schooling and financial desires.... They should live together normally and let the children come....

"I know of no scriptures," President Kimball continued, "where an authorization is given to young wives to withhold their families and to go to work to put their husbands through school. There are thousands of husbands who have worked their own way through school and have reared families at the same time." ("Marriage Is Honorable," in Speeches of the Year, 1973 [Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1974], 263.)

Brethren of the priesthood, I continue to emphasize the importance of mothers staying home to nurture, care for, and train their children in the principles of righteousness.

As I travel throughout the Church, I feel that the great majority of Latter-day Saint mothers earnestly want to follow this counsel. But we know that sometimes the mother works outside of the home at the encouragement, or even insistence, of her husband. It is he who wants the items of convenience that the extra income can buy. Not only will the family suffer in such instances, brethren, but your own spiritual growth and progression will be hampered. I say to all of you, the Lord has charged men with the responsibility to provide for their families in such a way that the wife is allowed to fulfill her role as mother in the home. (Ensign, Nov. 1987, pp. 48-49.)

LDS gender role teachings after 1995

In the May 1997 general conference, President Henry B. Eyring said:

In our own time, we have been warned with counsel of where to find safety from sin and from sorrow. One of the keys to recognizing those warnings is that they are repeated. For instance, more than once in these general conferences, you have heard our prophet say that he would quote a preceding prophet and would therefore be a second witness and sometimes even a third. Each of us who has listened has heard President Kimball give counsel on the importance of a mother in the home and then heard President Benson quote him, and we have heard President Hinckley quote them both. The Apostle Paul wrote that "in the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established" (2 Cor. 13:1). One of the ways we may know that the warning is from the Lord is that the law of witnesses, authorized witnesses, has been invoked. When the words of prophets seem repetitive, that should rivet our attention and fill our hearts with gratitude to live in such a blessed time. (Ensign, May 1997, 25.)

Notice how the law of witnesses was invoked by President Benson when he spoke to mothers and again when he spoke to fathers (both quoted above). And notice how the law of witnesses was invoked by President Hinckley in the following passage.

President Gordon B. Hinckley (to mothers)—1996

A full year after the Proclamation was issued, President Gordon B. Hinckley made reference in general conference to the 1987 Ezra Taft Benson talk quoted above.

Some years ago President Benson delivered a message to the women of the Church. He encouraged them to leave their employment and give their individual time to their children. I sustain the position which he took.

Nevertheless, I recognize, as he recognized, that there are some women (it has become very many in fact) who have to work to provide for the needs of their families. To you I say, do the very best you can. I hope that if you are employed full-time you are doing it to ensure that basic needs are met and not simply to indulge a taste for an elaborate home, fancy cars, and other luxuries. The greatest job that any mother will ever do will be in nurturing, teaching, lifting, encouraging, and rearing her children in righteousness and truth. None other can adequately take her place. (Ensign, Nov. 1996, 69; emphasis added.)

President Gordon B. Hinckley (to fathers)—1998

Paul did not mince words when he wrote to Timothy, "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel" (1 Tim. 5:8).

It is your primary obligation to provide for your family.

Your wife will be fortunate indeed if she does not have to go out and compete in the marketplace. She will be twice blessed if she is able to remain at home while you become the breadwinner of the family. (Ensign, May 1998, 50.)

President Gordon B. Hinckley (to mothers)—1998

President Ezra Taft Benson is quoted above saying that "the counsel of the Church has always been for mothers to spend their full time in the home in rearing and caring for their children." President Hinckley taught in 1998 that motherhood "is more than a part-time responsibility." Isn't that saying the same thing?

Sisters, guard your children.... Your children are the most valuable thing you will have in time or all eternity.... Nothing is more precious to you as mothers, absolutely nothing.... I think the nurture and upbringing of children is more than a part-time responsibility." (Ensign, Nov. 1998, 99.)

President Gordon B. Hinckley—1999

It will be better if the husband becomes the provider and the wife does not work when children come. That situation may be necessary in some cases, but if you choose wisely now, it is not likely to become a requirement. (First Presidency Message, Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2.)

President James E. Faust—1997 and 2004

President James E. Faust believes "father and mother are equal partners with different roles" (Ensign, May 1997, 20). Fathers, he said, function outside the home and prepare children to do likewise. On the other hand, mothers function inside the home and prepare children to live within families.

Fathers need to do the best they can to be the primary provider for physical and spiritual support. I state this with no reluctance because the Lord has revealed that this obligation is placed upon husbands. "Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until their husbands are taken." (D&C 83:2.) Further, "all children have claim upon their parents for their maintenance until they are of age." (D&C 83:4.) In addition, their spiritual welfare should be "brought to pass by the faith and covenant of their fathers." (D&C 84:99.) As regards little children, the Lord has promised "that great things may be required at the hand of their fathers." (D&C 29:48.)

It is useless to debate which parent is most important. No one would doubt that a mother's influence is paramount with newborns and in the first years of a child's life. The father's influence increases as the child grows older. However, each parent is necessary at various times in a child's development. Both fathers and mothers do many intrinsically different things for their children. Both are equipped to nurture children, but their approaches are different. Mothers seem to take a dominant role in preparing children to live within their families, present and future. Fathers seem best equipped to prepare children to function in the environment outside the family. (First Presidency Message, Ensign, Aug. 2004, 3.)

Again, many examples could be cited, all of them speaking in unison. There has been no change in the long-standing policy on gender roles. The Church has maintained a consistent position on this question for many years both prior to and subsequent to the Proclamation.